Life and Stuff

For my preface this week, I'd like to address two issues. First of all, I'd like to say that the New England Patriots are admitted cheaters that went over the line and got caught for it. Although I am somewhat bothered by the fact that this happened, I would like to point out a simple fact of life, everybody cheats. I've cheated on tests, some of you have cheated on your significant other, and football and baseball teams always elect someone to try to steal the signs. In essence, what the Patriots did was take the signal stealing act one step further, they used a video camera to steal the signals which is a clear violation of league rules. There is no doubt in my mind that the team should have been punished, but leave it to crybaby Mangini to be the one who blew the whistle on his former boss and yet still not be satisfied with the verdict handed down by Roger Goodell. Now, the Jets are alleging that the Patriots used illegal radio frequencies to help them acquire the Jets plays. Through talk radio, I have heard that there is an NFL official on the sidelines at all times whose job it is to monitor the radio frequencies. Knowing this, it is hard for me to believe that the Patriots were cleaver enough to steal the Jets signals through radio waves. I believe Eric Mangini is trying to look for a scapegoat to try to explain the reasons behind his team's poor play. Since using his former boss as a target made sense, he chose to blow the whistle. Mangini will never fully admit that he's the problem because he see himself as the wonderkid who was cast in the shadow of Belichick and has earned the right to be respected based on his coaching pedigree.

Secondly, I'd like to answer a question posed to me by a reader who wishes to remain anonymous. They asked me for my playoff predictions. I think it is far too early within the season to make any sort of playoff prediction, however I can almost guarantee you that the Patriots and the Colts will be there. Prefaces are sometimes fun and cathartic, but it's now time to get down and dirty and do what I do best, telling you about the way things ought to be in the National Football League!

• Much like "Full House" reruns and that great aunt that never comes to visit you yet still finds the time to send you and ugly sweater every Christmas, Morten Andersen will not go away. To celebrate his recent signing, the Falcons have installed an AARP booth in the Georgia Dome and have implemented an Early Bird Special that consists of a hot dog, French fry puree, and a cup of diet Jell-o for only $2.95! Must be 65 to order.

• Word is the Falcons are looking to sign Byron Leftwich, he'll be an upgrade over Joey Harrington but with an aging running game and no sign of s passing game, its going to be a rough go.

• Hustler of the week goes to the Texans DeMarcus Fagans, who could not keep up with Steve Smith, but did force a fumble to help his team to victory.

• The definition of quickness in the NFL is Steve Smith.

• Chad Johnson's leap into the Dawg Pound was like playing with fire, and a predictable outcome ensued. I have no idea what made him do it, maybe he wanted a dog biscuit, arf, arf!

• At what point in the Browns Bengals game did both teams resort to playing arena football?

• Is it me or does new Steeler coach Mike Tomlin look like he's up for a role in a blaxplotation movie?

• The Saints/Bucs game was one of the rare circumstances in which the teachers beat the students. In this case, a bunch of geezers beat a club considered by many to be the best young team in the league.

• I think the luck has run out on the Saints for two reasons, last year they were able to ride the wave of Katrina to a successful year and they had a lot of flashy young players that defenses had great difficulty getting reads on. With the memory of Katrina quickly fading into the gone but not forgotten stage and Colston and Bush getting off to slow starts, the ride is quickly coming to an end.
  

• Saints coach Sean Payton says he's disappointed and changes have to be made.\, this has been another pearl of wisdom from the people who brought you duh.

• The personification of toughness this week was 49's RB Frank Gore who lost his Mother Liz to kidney disease earlier in the week yet still found a way to score two touchdowns and lead his team to a win.

• If there is an NFL fountain of youth, Brett Favre is its poster child. He threw three TD passes while becoming the all time wins leader for quarterbacks. Amid all this hoopla, he acted as if it was just another day at the office.

• If you were able to hear Bob Costas's horrid imitation of Howard Cosell, you'll know why I had to vomit before I wrote this sentence.

• Devin Hester has already broken the Bears career mark for punt and kickoff return TD's. At the rate he's going, not even the Roadrunner can catch him.

• Without the reliable foot of Jason Elam, the Broncos would easily be0-2 right now.

• I'm kidding myself here, but maybe John Kitna was right, maybe the Lions can win 10 games, although I would not bet on it because of the high turnover rate.

• If I'm Wade Phillips, I'd rather have TO feel like he's worth a million bucks and happy than feel like he's been shortchanged and deserving of more money.

• I agree with Mr. Goodell on his stance on the videogate scandal. The intent was to send a message that this sort of behavior will not be tolerated by the league office. The loss of a draft pick and the subsequent fines against the Patriot organization and coach Belichick was enough to send that message.

• Cheating, we don't need no stinking cheating! If the Charger are truly the best the AFC has to offer, it's going to be an easy go of it for the Pats.

• Eagle fans need to stop picking on Donovan McNabb, just because he's the face of the franchise, it does not mean that he deserves all of criticism. Granted he hasn't been sharp for the first two games, but the lack of a strong offensive unit has continued to bite the Eagles in the rear, and that is what is deserving of your complaints.

• I'll end this week by expressing my sincere thanks to the King of the weekend warrior DJ's Jadd Naamani for endlessly plugging this column on both of his radio shows this past weekend. To return the favor, I urge you to visit his Myspace page at Myspace.com/Jaddon theradio and hear his incredible work, gracias amigo!

• Until next week, help control the pet population, have your pet spayed or neutered. Goodbye everybody!